Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He
gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on
our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.
Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one
before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.
2 sardars were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
Sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol
se start hoti hai.
Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ? Simple. Just
knock the door and they will open it.
Sardarji Collections
1- Sardar ji is buying a TV
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
2- Sardar Ji calls Air India.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up.
3- Sardar ji is filling up a job application
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED
After much thought he writes: Yes
4- Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
5- Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints
like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."
6- What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
7- What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra
sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.
8- There was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.
They were planning for a free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point,
"Oh...we'll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave...
"No problem! We'll attack Amrika, it would take over us and then
we would become a State of USA and develop automatically."
All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd
was not. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE
WE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???"
9- Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned
to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
10- Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
11- How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
12- Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is
being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims
"71st and *again* barefoot!"
13- What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
14- What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
15- How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
16- What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears? Trying to hold on to a thought.
17- Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
18- Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.
19- How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.
20- What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
21- What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes? The back of his head.
22- What do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer? Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
23- What do you call a Sardar who has only one drink? Just-one Singh.
24- Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.
25- Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.
26- How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it.
27- Why can't Sardar dial 911? They can not find the eleven on the phone
28- How do you get Sardar on the roof? Tell him the drinks are on the house.
29- "Oh, look at the dead bird." Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
30- What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but you never see them.
31- Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one? You have to hollow out the head.
32- The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometres a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the
doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."
33- Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Gani Singh.
34- A Sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "Kyon
Sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
35- Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takesalong some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
36- Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when
the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 Rupees, the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the
barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash
his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
Said his wife " What's the matter?"
Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"
37- Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing;
what are you thanking God for?" The Sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I
would have been missing too."
38- Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
"Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?"
" Aah, read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."
39- Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space. The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" (it's the
barking sound)
"Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!"
"Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!" "Sardarji!" "Woof."
Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"
40- Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji
figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
41)This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.;
Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata"
42)A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, ;I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I acccidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.;
Oh Dear!; the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. But ... what happened to the other ear?;
The scoundrel called back. SAID SARDARJI;
43)Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. Oye, I am only following the instructions 'Answer in brief'.;
44)Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied ;Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, and thought, and thought ... and at last I wrote THUNK !!!;
45)Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees , the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Asked a person next to him ; What's the matter?; Replied he ;The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else.;
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
2- Sardar Ji calls Air India.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up.
3- Sardar ji is filling up a job application
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED
After much thought he writes: Yes
4- Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
5- Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints
like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."
6- What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
7- What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra
sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.
8- There was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.
They were planning for a free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point,
"Oh...we'll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave...
"No problem! We'll attack Amrika, it would take over us and then
we would become a State of USA and develop automatically."
All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd
was not. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE
WE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???"
9- Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned
to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
10- Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
11- How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
12- Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is
being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims
"71st and *again* barefoot!"
13- What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
14- What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
15- How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
16- What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears? Trying to hold on to a thought.
17- Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
18- Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.
19- How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He threw it off a cliff.
20- What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
21- What do you see when you look into a Sardar's eyes? The back of his head.
22- What do you call a Sardar who drinks only beer? Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).
23- What do you call a Sardar who has only one drink? Just-one Singh.
24- Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken.
25- Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.
26- How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it.
27- Why can't Sardar dial 911? They can not find the eleven on the phone
28- How do you get Sardar on the roof? Tell him the drinks are on the house.
29- "Oh, look at the dead bird." Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?
30- What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but you never see them.
31- Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as opposed to a regular one? You have to hollow out the head.
32- The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometres a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the
doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."
33- Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Gani Singh.
34- A Sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "Kyon
Sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "
35- Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takesalong some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
36- Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when
the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 Rupees, the Sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the
barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash
his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
Said his wife " What's the matter?"
Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else"
37- Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing;
what are you thanking God for?" The Sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I
would have been missing too."
38- Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
"Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?"
" Aah, read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."
39- Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Sardarji were sent to the outer space. The ground control issues commands "Rubi!" "Woof!" (it's the
barking sound)
"Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!"
"Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!" "Sardarji!" "Woof."
Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"
40- Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.
Sardarji says "Yes".
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji
figured he was taken for a ride. On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.
"Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder."
The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder."
41)This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him ;kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai.;
Sardarji replies ;Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata"
42)A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, ;I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I acccidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.;
Oh Dear!; the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. But ... what happened to the other ear?;
The scoundrel called back. SAID SARDARJI;
43)Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. Oye, I am only following the instructions 'Answer in brief'.;
44)Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, for that he replied ;Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, and thought, and thought ... and at last I wrote THUNK !!!;
45)Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees , the sardarji deserved more service. So, when the Sardarji fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. Asked a person next to him ; What's the matter?; Replied he ;The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else.;
Bubble in the Bathtub
New lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the
first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce
themselves with name and hobby.
She said, "Let's start with the boys first."
Boys start giving their intro...
First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the
bathtub."
Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting.
Well, Ok. In fact we
must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially
a child in each of us. So it's ok John. Yes next."
Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of
supporting a friend. Ok next."
Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next."
This continues, and the last boy stands up "I'm Har! ry and my hobby is
to see bubble in the bathtub."
Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach
un-grown boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please."
First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."
Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next."
Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."
Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl;
Yes you..."
Most beautiful girl of the class: "Mam, my name is Bubble, and my hobby
is to take bath three times a day."
first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to introduce
themselves with name and hobby.
She said, "Let's start with the boys first."
Boys start giving their intro...
First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the
bathtub."
Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting.
Well, Ok. In fact we
must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is essentially
a child in each of us. So it's ok John. Yes next."
Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of
supporting a friend. Ok next."
Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub."
Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next."
This continues, and the last boy stands up "I'm Har! ry and my hobby is
to see bubble in the bathtub."
Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach
un-grown boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please."
First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds."
Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different. Ok next."
Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes."
Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next. You sweet girl;
Yes you..."
Most beautiful girl of the class: "Mam, my name is Bubble, and my hobby
is to take bath three times a day."
Letter to and From HelpDesk
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
Please help!
--Desperate
Dear Desperate,
Please keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try to enter the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME and then install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a virus that will create "Snoring Loudly" WAV sound files. DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance.
I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3
--Help Desk
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
Please help!
--Desperate
Dear Desperate,
Please keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try to enter the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME and then install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a virus that will create "Snoring Loudly" WAV sound files. DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance.
I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3
--Help Desk