Murder of English language!

See, how people write leave Applications. It's murder of English language. But
Too Funny. Just Read It.



· Infosys, Bangalore:
An employee applied for leave as follows: "Since I have to go to my
village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week
leave."



· This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing
the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to
shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."



· Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was
performing his daughter's wedding: "as I am marrying my daughter, please
grant a week's leave.."



· From H.A.L. Administration Dept: "As my mother-in-law has expired
and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."



· Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since
I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please
grant me half day casual leave"



· An incident of a leave letter: "I am suffering from fever, please
declare one-day holiday."



· A leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this
school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"



· Another leave letter written to the headmaster: "As my headache
is paining, please grant me leave for the day."



· Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."



· Another one: "Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer
to my below..."



· Actual letter written for application of leave: "My wife is
suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted
leave".



· Letter writing: "I am well here and hope you are also in the same
well."



· A candidate's job application: "This has reference to your
advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As
I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good
experience, I am applying for the post.

Letter to and From HelpDesk

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Please help!

--Desperate




Dear Desperate,

Please keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Try to enter the command: C:/I-THOUGHT-YOU-LOVED-ME and then install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, HappyHour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.
Beer 6.1 is a virus that will create "Snoring Loudly" WAV sound files. DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance.

I personally recommend HotFood 3.0 and Lingerie 5.3

--Help Desk