Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.
Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.
Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.
Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.
Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.
Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.
Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.
Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.
Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.
Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer
make a woman happy
To make a woman happy..... A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. Give her compliments regularly
45. Love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. Not stress her out
49. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. Never to forget:
* Birthdays
* Anniversaries
* Arrangements she makes
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. Give her compliments regularly
45. Love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. Not stress her out
49. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. Never to forget:
* Birthdays
* Anniversaries
* Arrangements she makes
&
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Leave him alone
Ukhan Tukka English Version Revisited
खाई न पाई छालाको टोपी लाई
Eating na getting, putting leather cap
घाँटी हेरी हाड निल्नु
Look at the neck and swallow the bone
एक कान दुई कान मैदान
One ear two ear, playground
अछ्यु खाए बछ्यु खाए, झुसे बारुलो
Hornet ate bachhyu ate, hairy wasp
काग कराउदै गर्छ पिना सुक्दै गर्छ
Crow crying, pina drying
चिन्नु न जान्नु घचेडी माग्नु
Don't know don't know push and beg
भाग्यमानी को भूतै कमारो
Lucky person has ghost servant
म पनि खान्दानी को छोरा हो
I am also a son of Tiffin Carrierकहिं नभाको जात्रा हाँडीगाउँमा
Nowhere festival in pot villageनखाँउ भने दिनभरिको शिकार, खाउँभने कान्छा बाउको अनुहार
If no eat whole day's hunting, if eat face of uncle
हात्ती आयो हात्ती आयो फुस्सा
Elephant coming elephant coming phussa becoming
केटा केटी आए, गुलेली खेलाए, गुच्चाको नास
Boy girl come, play slingshot, loss of marble
जब भयो राती, तब बुढी ताती
When it becomes night, Wife becomes hot.
कस्लाई के को चिन्ता, घर ज्वाइँलाई खानाको चिन्ता
Who what tension, who what tenstion, House son-in-law eating tension.कस्को बाउको के तागत, म पनि खान्दानको छोरा हुँ
Whose father, what vitamin I'm the son of Tiffin Carrier
Too Cool
1 ) Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, Forgot laughter were called
"Saints"
But now they are called.. " IT professionals "
2 ) An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:
"If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"
3. ) Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present.. Its just that,
One loves too much, And
the other loves too many,
4. ) Employee:
Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
BOSS:
Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company..!
5. ) Philosophy of life
At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as
GOD ,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
6. ) What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new and Just few hours left for your exams...!
7. ) Useful
Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer"
No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!
8.) Girl:
Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper:
Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
Girl:
That's good, Give me 12 of them..!
9) After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an... opening for you...! "
Applicant:
What is it?
Interviewer:
Its called the "door..!"
10) A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Don't kill our Employee.... . Leave them to us
"Saints"
But now they are called.. " IT professionals "
2 ) An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:
"If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off"
3. ) Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present.. Its just that,
One loves too much, And
the other loves too many,
4. ) Employee:
Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
BOSS:
Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company..!
5. ) Philosophy of life
At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as
GOD ,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
6. ) What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new and Just few hours left for your exams...!
7. ) Useful
Someone has rightly said, "A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer"
No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!
8.) Girl:
Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper:
Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says "To the only boy I ever loved.!"
Girl:
That's good, Give me 12 of them..!
9) After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: " WE do have an... opening for you...! "
Applicant:
What is it?
Interviewer:
Its called the "door..!"
10) A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Don't kill our Employee.... . Leave them to us
Why is HONEY golden in color?
Letter from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft
Letter from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems,
which I want to bring to your notice.
Regards,
Banta
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems,
which I want to bring to your notice.
- There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
- We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.
- One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
- There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but wasunable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
- My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
- bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?
- It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
- There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
- You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
- You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
- Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?
Regards,
Banta
